Vishal on Feeling Free « People's District

Vishal on Feeling Free

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“I’m 22 and was born in Arlington, Virginia. My family is Indian and Anavil Brahmin, the highest caste. All my life, I was raised by women — my Mom and two older sisters — as my Dad was always at work. I think that girls always telling me what to do is where my submissiveness comes from.

“My parents never had that sex conversation with me, so I had to figure it out on my own. Ever since I was little, I remember being into BDSM. In elementary school, I had this dream about two girls tying me up. When I was older, I would play cops and robbers and tie people up. Later on, I started surfing the internet a lot and came across BDSM stuff. I would find rope in the house and tie myself up. My parents saw some of the websites I was checking out and found rope in my bedroom. They had my brother-in-law talk with me once. I told him that I was just experimenting and to leave me alone. Look, my family knows that I’m a kinkster, but there are some things that you don’t talk about in an Indian family, and this is definitely one of them.

Look, my family knows that I’m a kinkster, but there are some things that you don’t talk about in an Indian family, and this is definitely one of them.

“When I got older and started having vanilla sex, it satisfied me, but I was still thinking about being spanked, tied up, or whipped. I started pursuing BDSM in October when I finally had the money to come and do sessions with a Dominatrix. I was scared that it might be a sting operation, but it turned out to be totally legit. I remember going to a chat room before I went to ask about dress code and things like that. Someone wrote back saying, ‘Don’t worry, you’re not going to be wearing anything!’

“For me, things really clicked when I met Domina Vontana. She said I could do better by serving her than by paying her. Now, I help clean her house, build her website, shovel snow, give her rides, whatever she needs. It is really fulfilling and helps out with my anxiety. It is a total power exchange. I give her myself completely during scenes and as a lifestyle. Nothing that I have done with her has been sexual; it is all discipline. We have more of a mother-son relationship than anything else. She constantly praises me and makes me feel good. In turns out that this is the best therapy I have ever had.

“Now, as a submissive, I am under a consideration period where we get to know each other. There are a few more stages between being a submissive and being a slave. Mistress says that I am on the right track to getting there, though. As I pursue my own relationships, these experiences make me realize that I need to find a partner who has a dominant personality. At the same time, I need to keep a separate relationship with my Mistress to maintain my discipline and kinkster needs. I will definitely have to tell my partner about my Dominatrix, and they will need to meet. If the person is open-minded, I am sure it will be okay because Mistress is the kindest person that I know. Being with her makes me a better, more proactive person. Now I know that I want to be powerful in the business world, but, outside of that, I don’t mind being submissive. It makes me feel free.”